SINE ZEN NON  (NothingWithoutZen) 

A KevCarrToon   © 2012  JBPinc  P.O. Box 1549  Hollywood  CA  90078  USA

[Key: actr (Kevin Carr) - SZN actor / KC (Kace) - SZN director / RK (Rev Kev) - SZN writer / JBP - Jest Blessed Productions]

NOTE: SZN “back-up blogs” are on blogspot & wordpress - http://zen420.blogspot.com/ or http://sznblog.wordpress.com/

[Key: actr (Kevin Carr) - SZN actor / KC (Kace) - SZN director / RK (Rev Kev) - SZN writer / JBP - Jest Blessed Productions]

NOTE: the SZN “back-up blog” is on blogspot at http://zen420.blogspot.com/ that’s http://zen420.blogspot.com

 
 

MS (exhaling):  I'm Mike Saad, and I didn't really produce this movie.  I just play the guy who did, named JB Pinc.  The actual producing entity is Jest Blessed Productions, incorporated.  JBP, inc.  Get it?

KC:   I love that name for the producer, Rev Kev.

RK:   Thank you, Kace.

actr:  Mister Pinc!

JBP:  Mike Saad also shot a lot of the stuff that we got in the U.S., including much of this screening footage that starts the movie.

MS:   I’m right here, you know.   [A beat]  Aren’t I? 

JBP:  This prologue was filmed at the actual 5-year anniversary SZN screening on November 26th, 2011.  The 11-26-11 page has dozens of pictures from that event, as well as trailers and well-wishes from ZenFriends.  That was the first showing of the director’s cut of the movie - we previously serialized a more linear version of the project in the Vlog, the producer’s cut.

MS:  Wait, aren’t those my lines?  [Re: hookah]  What’s in this thing, man?

actr:  I first worked with Mr. Saad on the feature And God Spoke...

JBP:  A clip from that movie appears 39 minutes into this one.

actr:  ...in which he played a cinematographer.

KC:  We asked Mike to really be one, and man the Zen Cam on the SZN U.S. pick-ups.

MS (still focused on the weed):  Is this the stuff that killed Elvis?

RK:  Long story short, he read Mister Pinc’s lines off-camera...

actr:  With me, when we shot the acupuncture stuff.

RK:  ...So when my ex-father-in-law - for whom I wrote the part - was unavailable...

KC:  ...And when Charles Marowitz couldn’t do the role either...

JBP:  ...And since we already had him on audio from the shoot...

actr:  ...The part ended up going to my pal, Mike Saad!

MS (groggy):  Am I wrapped?

[The critic/director/playwright Charles Marowitz sticks his head into frame.]


CM:  Kevin, my dear, did you call me?

KC:  Oh sure, now you show up.

Happy 4-20, ZenFriends!

[Fade up on Mike Saad enjoying the guest hookah down left.  The others address the camera directly from the remaining three corners of the screen.  JBP is a voiceover.]

actr:  Hi, I'm Kevin Carr, and I don't just play the Zen Ken in this movie...

RK:   ...I also wrote SINE ZEN NON (NothingWithoutZen)...

KC:   ...and I directed & edited it.  "Edit-t-d it" - that's not so easy to say.

RK:   "Ed-it-ted-it?"

actr:  Amstelerdam? 

[They chuckle]

NOTE: This SZN commentary script is an invention of the blogger, including all lines & actions assigned to other individuals, real or imaginary.

[The camera pans over to the actors from the Director’s Cut prologue who have been waiting off-screen.  They are not happy.]

All (they actually say the words):  Grumble, grumble.

KC:  Want to hear actors complain?  Hire them.

GB (Guerin Barry):  What the -
CA (Craig Aldrich):  We’re not in this at all?
JBP: You guys are acknowledged at the beginning of this prologue as the whistling & uke duo Two By Four, and you’re heard throughout it.  Guerin, we’ll need you back in about a month for the Sammy thing…
GB:  …Man.

LM (Lanestress):  When will you be needing Miep?
All:  Miep!
JBP:  We’ll see you in a couple of weeks, Ms. Miep.
All:  Miep!
JBP:  You’re scheduled for May 4th.

BN (Buzz Noe):  Nobody tells me anything!
JBP:  Not true, Coach.  I’m telling you right now that you’re called back on August 15th.
BN:  “Without questions…”
JBP:  “…there can be no answers,” we know.  Any other questions, folks?

[The BlueFaces come forward.]

NGJ (Nathan G. Johnson) & DG (Darianne Galden):  Us?
JBP:  “Black & Blue” is also scheduled to upload in August, see you on the 9th.

 [The BlueFaces are followed by the King of Scotland & his escort.]

CJ (Carol Jones):  His excellency would like to know if he needs to return.
JBP:  “Sero Sed Serio” should upload on June 3rd, your majesty.  Hope you can make it.
TP (Tony Potter): If it’s not Scottish, it’s crap!

[The Victator marches up, holding the ear of Loki, the mischievous P.A.]

VD (Victoria Delaney):  Sorry I missed my cue.  Loki used my call sheet to make some obscene origami.
AS (Aaron Saldana):  I said I was sorry! JBP:  Well, we already mentioned AND GOD SPOKE…

VD:  I worked that shoot – I missed the reference?  (To Loki)  Thanks for nothing!
JBP:  …we catch a quick glimpse of the Victator in “Eureka,” scheduled for January 29th.
VD:  Not until next year!?!  I’ll get you for this, Loki!
AS (running off with her car keys):  Not if I get you first.

JCH (Joel Cary Hile):  Do that nutty thing you do.
JBP:  Sorry we didn’t use you today, Sonny.  Apologies again, folks.  That is a wrap.  We need everyone to clear the set, please.

All:  Grumble, grumble.

EL (Emily Luchtman):  Wait, do we still get paid for this?

[A beat.  They all erupt in laughter.]

Additional NOTE: Many (still) pictures on this blog link to other pages, but not all do.

BTW, this devilish Toon by Thomas (Sandnaes) first appears two-minutes & 23 seconds into the movie, just as the Zen Ken is lighting up his first joint of the film and saying "smoke 'em if you got 'em."

The Toon reappears every time he partakes of the herbal remedy, on more than a dozen occasions in the 70-minute feature...but less than two-dozen.  (In case anyone is keeping score...)

JBP:  Listen up, talent, that’s it for this first SZNblog post.  So sorry - we overestimated how much we’d be able to get through today.  You’re all wrapped.

[Fade up on Martin Grelis being handed the guest hookah down left this time.]

MG:  G’day, mate!

RK:   Speaking of folks for whom I wrote the part, Martin Grelis, ladies & gentlemen - it’s Martbo, from the Land Down Under!

actr:  Aren’t you the Easy-off BAM guy?

MG:  Don’t go there, girlfriend.

KC:   That’s right, Martin was originally cast as our B-Well, wasn’t he?


[TS (Thomas Sandnaes) tries to replace MG down left, but the latter doesn’t budge.]


TS:  That’s my part!

Five years earlier, director BW (B-Well) tries to convince former actor, the Zen Ken, to be the subject of his documentary by revealing several of the big-name movie stars associated with his project.

KC:  Technical glitches with the audio prevented us from being able to use Martin as Guy (in the shower)...

MG:  ...But I still got to hum “Ave Maria” under these opening credits, and sing the SZN theme song.

JBP:  That theme song can be heard underscoring the “Peace” clip at the top of the Vlog page, by the way.

KC:  ...Thomas Sandnaes saved our shoot by stepping in to play the role of the director, BW.

actr:  Wasn’t Thomas originally going to be Loki, the mischievous P.A.?

JBP:  Note the brief shot of Mr. Julio on-screen when B-Well mentions the “money people.”

Off-screen voice:  ¿Dónde diablos está mi dinero?

JBP:  Mr. Julio’s well-wishes appear at the bottom of the 11-26-11 page.

RK:  Anyway, when Marty couldn’t make it up from Australia for the shoot, I created the role of the never-seen but often-heard Guy (in the shower) for him instead.

[KY (Kelley Yearout) now tries to take MG’s place, but the latter still won’t leave.]


KY:  That’s my part!

[There is a loud crash as Martin suddenly drops out of frame. 

AS (Aaron Saldana) enters the shot holding a saw.]


AS:  That’s my part!